They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
