p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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