You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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