what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
