Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
