Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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