This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
