Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
