16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
