he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
