His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We left the knife in your bed.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
