It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
