I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
