So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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