things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
sex in a hospital.. check
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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