My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
