I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
