Apparently you make a good broom.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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