I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
