So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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