I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
