Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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