He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
