There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
