Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
