yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
