Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
