I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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