Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
