While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You took a bar mat shot.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
