Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
