i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
