She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize