She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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