You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Randomize