you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
