This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
