Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
