well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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