So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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