Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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