okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
