Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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