I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think I just sharted jello shots
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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