Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
