you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
