So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
