awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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