..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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