I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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