Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
