Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
