where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
