u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
