you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
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