I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
