Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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