Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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