cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
