"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
