you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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