Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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