What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
